The World's Most Naughty Toddler
by InsanityCreator
Summary: Kokichi Ouma is already quite the troublemaker. But what would he have been like as a toddler? He seems like the kind to have tried to climb the fridge and succeed? Now imagine Shuichi babysitting. This idea started as a joke between my sister and I, but after some consideration I thought that writing a few one-shots related to that idea would be humourous? So here this is! Enjoy!
1. World's Most Naughty Toddler

Why did Shuichi agree to this?

The boy could clearly remember this morning's conversation with a friend of his. Kaito Mamota had come to him with an issue; he was going to be away all day and the girl whom normally babysat Kokichi for him called in sick. Shuichi knew that Kaito's cousin, well _half-cousin_ , was living with Kaito's family for the time being. He didn't know the specifics, just that it had to do with the boys parents. He deduced the most likely option to have been a divorce, but he didn't want to pry.

Kaito didn't have time to find another babysitter, and his usual choice, Maki, simply could not stand his cousin for some unknown reason to the other boys. Shuichi didn't have anything else planned. How hard could it be to watch a toddler? Besides, he would be helping his friend! He knew if it were him, Kaito would definitely help. So he agreed without missing a beat!

He'd only seen the toddler a few times, and on every occasion, the child seemed to flat out ignore him. Shuichi, didn't expect the kid to suddenly start responding to him now, and he was right. He had not anticipated that Kokichi would be so devious!

Shuichi could barely take his eyes of the child for a second, or he immediately start crawling towards the exit! He grabbed everything he could reach and chewed on it. The boy detective knew that was normal for a teething toddler, but what was not normal, was throwing the objects he could not eat! In some cases it almost seemed as if the child was trying to intentionally cause him grief! He knew the kid was barely even two though, there was no way he could intentionally be that malicious.

Only an hour into the day however, Shuichi made his first crucial mistake. Kokichi just suddenly burst into tears! He couldn't understand why, trying to make the kid stop, and failing. The child just kept crying, and asking what was wrong didn't seem to work either. Kokichi just didn't seem to talk at all, or even try to. He could only assume he was hungry. So, put the toddler into a play pen so he could head to the kitchen and make him a snack of some kind.

'What do toddlers even eat?', Shuichi thought. Just to be safe, he tried to find something the kid wouldn't have to chew. Luckily, he found a tub of yogurt in the refrigerator, perfect! He put some into a small bowl, setting it on the counter as he went to fetch the toddler for his snack. There was just one issue however.

Kokichi wasn't in his pen anymore. Did he climb out? He couldn't be far, it's not like the kid could open doors. Searching around however yielded no results. Where could he have gone? Shuichi wasn't in the kitchen for all that long, and there were not many places Kokichi could have hidden! He checked behind the couch, under the coffee table, even under every blanket and pillow. Yet the small child was nowhere to be found!

Worry was beginning to take over Shuichi's at first calm demeanor. Where could that kid have gone? He couldn't have gotten upstairs, right? Yeah, even if he could manage to scale the stairs, the door was still firmly shut. Unless he could close doors behind him... No, that would be ridiculous! This was a two year old child! It wouldn't cross his mind to play tricks on Shuichi. He was likely just curiously exploring. But still, how could Shuichi not find him? His mind was going in circles. Where could that kid have possibly gone that Shuichi has yet to check?

Despite his restless search around the house and growing concern, it was no amount of his own effort that caused him to find the toddler. Rather, it was the kid's own error. It was Kokichi's own incessant giggling that gave him away. After discovering the child's location, Shuichi realized several things, incredulously. He first realized that there was no way he would have found the child if not for his slip up, next that he was right for worrying, third that perhaps he should pay more attention, and last but not least, that he should not have ever doubted the kid's capabilities! He had many questions, but one stuck out most of all. How was he going to get the toddler down!?

Much to Shuichi's disbelief, he found the kid on top of the fridge! How someone, much less a toddler managed that, he had no idea. He didn't know why Kokichi would even want to get on top of the fridge in the first place. All he knew was that there was a small two year old in a checkered onesie who was sitting high atop the refrigerator, manically giggling at his own confusion and shock!

Shuichi had to get him down somehow. If he fell he could really hurt himself! Not only that but, he couldn't even imagine what kind of trouble he would be in if the boy's family found out. However, the detective had never been known to be very tall, and just trying to reach up and retrieve the boy was more likely to hurt them both somehow.

So, he pulled over a chair, and stood on it to grab the kid. Though Kokichi squirmed in Shuichi's grasp, making it hard to hold him, he never stopped laughing, or even showed any other signs of objection. Exasperated and tired, Shuichi set Kokichi down into the baby chair by the table, and put the yogurt in front of him, sitting at the table and watching him closely. Though he expected the naughty toddler to fling the food at him at this point, like the toys he had done so with earlier, to his astonishment, the kid actually started eating the food. Mind, it was with his hands rather than the spoon he had provided, but it was still much better than he expected!

Shuichi sighed, glancing to the stove top for the time. It had only been around and hour and ten minutes? What had he signed up for...

"Ank yu!"

The detective turned immediately in confusion to grinning toddler. Did he just... Kokichi _can_ talk?

This was going to be a long day...


	2. Ultimate Child Caregiver Indeed

When those two idiots came back, Maki was going to strangle them. For whatever reason, Kaito had suddenly called the three of them over to his house. He said he wanted to study with them, but they just finished a unit exam. There was nothing in particular _to_ study. Maki and Shuichi just couldn't find themselves saying no to Kaito though.

Yet, as soon as they had settled down, Kaito abruptly stood up.

" I have to go to the bathroom!" he shouted suddenly. Before Maki could say anything, he suddenly grabbed the back of Shuichi's collar. He continued to shout, over the boy's confusion, "Shuichi does too!" and with that he sped out of the room before the other two could get so much as a single word in.

Maki was left in a stunned silence. She had been left, yet wasn't alone. As she contemplated what her friend was scheming, she felt a light tug on her hair. She instantly turned with a deathly glare to the culprit. Low and behold, it was Kaito's baby cousin. Maki had never bothered to learn his name... She didn't feel she needed to. She tried to avoid the kid after all.

The small child stared up at her with big eyes, seemingly completely oblivious to her murderous expression. In fact, he seemed to find it funny, as he began to giggle, continuing to pull at her hair.

"Stop." Maki said first, her tone dark with warning. When the child continued, she picked him up and though frustrated, she made sure to be careful, tossing him onto the couch nearby. "Stop that."

Again, the child stared with wide eyes, curious, before simply giggling more. Was he having fun? Perhaps Maki should try ignoring him. She pretended to begin working on an assignment that didn't exist. The kid climbed down the couch, stumbling a little on the floor, crawling over to her. She ignored him. He began to pull her hair again. Still, she did not even look to him. He tried taking her pigtails out. She didn't care, in her world this mostly blank paper was much more interesting. Suddenly she heard the child behind her trying to eat her hair.

"That's it." She stood fast and tried to walk out the room to find where her friends had left to, only to find her head abruptly pulled back. Glancing back she discovered her hair tied around the chair legs behind her, a grinning two year old beaming up at her. Her anger flared as she picked him up, tense. "Do you want to d-..." She stopped. She had to pull herself together. This was Kaito's cousin and she didn't imagine he'd be very happy if the kid was scared out of his wits. Begrudgingly she put him back down and worked on freeing herself. He just continued to smile at her. He was extremely devious for his age... But also quite smart it seemed.

After untying all her hair, she sat down again and continued to work. She actually managed to find part of Shuichi's notes that pertained to their next unit. She may as well review until her friends get back from whatever they're doing.

Kaito's little imp of a cousin actually stayed quiet she found now. Half of her worried she had actually scared the kid, though the other half of her didn't care at all. She worked in peace, feeling no tugging or meddling to her hair this time as she studied Shuichi's notes. Hers were no help anymore, and she already knew that even if she managed to suffer through Kaito's atrocious writing, that the content of said writing wouldn't help her either.

The child who was bothering her earlier was still quiet. Had he wondered off? Maki would have been glad for that, though she began to wonder if perhaps she was supposed to look after him while the other two were out. She glanced back, just to be sure, only to see the boy ever so carefully braiding her hair. He noticed her gaze and paused, staring back at her, his face lacking that taunting grin or false innocent curious. She hadn't felt him doing that at all. He was being extremely careful and slow to be sure of that. She was surprised, and somewhat conflicted. She wasn't sure if she should get him to stop or not. He wasn't causing any harm... And if he distracted himself that way, he wouldn't be able to bother her otherwise. She decided it was fine and continued with her work. The child seemed to perceive that as permission to continue!

Not all that long later, Kaito and Shuichi finally came back. Kaito was grinning ear from ear the whole trip over to her. "He likes you, Maki Roll!" he stated in a triumphant tone.

Maki raised a brow. "Why do you sound so proud"

"It's nothing!" he stated with a laugh. "You really are like the Ultimate Child Caregiver!"

"You already know I..." she didn't even bother. She just sighed. Maki knew at this point there was no point in trying to argue with him anymore. Instead, she gave him a look. "So you were trying to make me get along with him, huh?"

"No!" Kaito yelled much too quickly.

Maki just continued to stare at him oddly. Kaito interjected again, "I don't know why you avoided him so much anyways!"

"I don't avoid him." Maki argued.

"I know he can be difficult sometimes but that's just kids! He's not too much trouble anymore!"

"Maybe to you, but-"

Shuichi intervened. "Hey, where did my textbook go?"

The instant manic giggling gave the toddler away as he clumsily ran out of the room, clutching a worn history book high above his head, like some sort of prize.


End file.
